Road To Social Change

     The scarey thing is, Joyce, from the kids who I have talked to, I am hearing that most kids do NOT realize it is not "cool"... instead of thinking about what might trigger such a horrible event where they go to school, they have begun terrorizing and picking on the kids who are the outcasts of society within the "world" of school... as if these kids and the ones who did the killings in Columbine were some kind of organized group. They are practicing vigilantism. In a world where people label each other for absolutely any reason they can... looks, height, weight, race, religion, economic status, gender, etc etc etc...

     The children who persecute other children within their small prototype of society, namely the schools and related functions and activities, see no correlation between cause & effect. The habit of making outcasts of people who do not in some way fit into the mainstream of society is so ingrained and socially acceptable to adults that no one seems to be able to own some responsibility for having provoked these kids, and perhaps others who have committed similar acts, into a state of total desperation. It is important for our children to learn that self esteem, and feeling socially acceptable is not acquired by making others feel excluded. To do this, we as individuals and as a society must somehow come to understand that acting on any kind of personal prejudice, be it race or body image, is not only unacceptable, unsophisticated, uncivilized, and just plain wrong, but we have to LIVE this in order for our children to do so.

     This is something that has to be lived at home, as a way of life... it won't happen in a social studies class where they spend one hour a day 5 days a week for 9 months of one year when they reach highschool. Idealistically, we live in a society where "All men are created equal" and realistically in a society where fat people live in terror of being humiliated in a grocery store or restaurant, where anything from being considered ugly in appearance to being too smart causes kids to be excluded from the "in" crowd, where many people think it is socially acceptable to make racial remarks, or even worse, cause harm to others on the grounds of race, gender, sexual orientation, political or religious affiliation, ethnic heritage, level of intelligence and/or amount of education, socio-economic status... and a host of other superficial values by which we measure the worth of each and every individual.

     To continue to allow these behaviors to flourish is to place ourselves and our children in mortal danger. Schools cannot stop this... governments cannot stop it, churches cannot. The only way to stop these kinds of things from happening is for each and every individual to take personal responsibility for our own behaviors, as well as speaking out against such behaviors when we see it happening, until it has become socially unpopular and unacceptable.

     Think back 15 years or so to when it was socially acceptable to drink and drive. Driving while intoxicated is now considered to be morally wrong, simply because enough people insisted that it was not okay to do this, and insisted loudly and consistently enough to make a difference in the conscience of society. This change in society was achieved by peaceful means... no bars, clubs or liqueur stores were bombed or even picketed that I am aware of. Sit-ins were not held, no one lay down in the street or formed human chains to keep beer delivery trucks from passing... in other words, it is possible to make changes in our society.

     Talking about what we believe is right is a good start, but LIVING what we believe is right is a necessity to make change happen, and to turn school back into a safe place to send our children, and especially to save our childrens' lives.

Much Love, Deborah